


I've Been Foolish

by HiyaMiya



Category: Attack on Titan, aot, snk - Fandom
Genre: Beyonce - Freeform, Coming Out, Crazy In Love, Empire AU, Fifty shades of grey remix, Jean is a music composer, Love Confessions, M/M, Marco is a popstar, MarcoBodtDownPitch, song prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5623984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiyaMiya/pseuds/HiyaMiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I could see a group of people in the front section holding up a banner with the words ‘Crazy in love for Marco’. That’s when my stomach started to feel warm and my heart beating a little faster. I was practically about to say the same thing to the man standing at the edge of the VIP section. For the first time...</p><p>'I needed him to look at me. Or else I couldn’t do this.'</p><p>In which these are quasi long term boyfriends and Marco decides to be brave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Been Foolish

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song prompt. Marcobodtdownpitch kindly did the 'Crazy In Love' Fifth Shades of Grey remix. 
> 
> In this au this is Marco's song, not the fabulous Beyoncé's. 
> 
> Play the song at this *
> 
> http://marcobodtdownpitch.tumblr.com/post/134193346895/thank-you-riseofthepandas-for-this-request-sorry

I never really wrapped my head around how Jean and I… happened. We’d always had a thing in university, both studying some major in music. I had to work on my vocals while Jean was always so excited to compose, to create. He was luckier than me and I... Maybe it was the idea of being near to such a bright flame that lighted up my hectic world of industry and expectations.

'Titan' is the family music production company, made famous by the 'started-from-the-bottom' story of my parents. Me, being the oldest child, of course I would be the spokesperson of the company, the face of the next generation. I felt so bad for Jean, keeping him in the dark both figuratively and literally. People knew who I was. I was on posters by the age of fifteen and ten years later I’m on stages now for huge venues. I don’t know why he stuck with me. Five years we’ve known each other. Five years. We never spoke about a title for us, never mind telling each other our worst secret – that we loved each other. His parents were okay with his sexuality. They already had bets, in fact. Jean had never been both so embarrassed and happy before. I was so happy for him. He’d given me a look when I told him that, a look that said you could do it. I couldn’t though.

I didn’t know the industry. I didn’t know if it were okay to be openly gay with my parents let alone a fan base of millions. Five years of promises never spoken, hands not being held in daylight, not staying till the morning or for the entire weekend. I’ve wanted to post on Instagram pictures of us getting coffee with hearts drawn on and cheesy hashtags and I’ve wanted to take sneaky Snapchats of him when he’s dancing in the recording studio. It has been too painful to see his eyes falter when I tell people he’s just my friend.

Five years is a long time and he still hasn’t left me. I think that’s a good enough sign to go forward. I’ll do it. Tonight. 

\--  
“Thank you!” I shouted into the microphone as I put it back into the stand. My throat was rough from the set tonight. A lot of my old stuff. Now it was time for something new. Now it was the moment I’ve been waiting and dreading for. “You’ve all been so great, I love you all so much!”

The crowd went wild. The arena was so huge I could only make out the people standing up on the ground and even then it was mostly the people in the VIP standing section who I could make out, people who have paid extra just to be able to see me up close. I pushed away the gnawing idea that I owe these people all of me but I needed this moment. So I allowed it to be mine. 

“Okay, okay,” I said lightheartedly into the microphone and smiled warmly at everyone. The waves of people and flashing cameras all focused on me. Although this was by now something easy for me, tonight was different. In the corner of my eye I saw myself projected onto larger screens, smiling for everyone. I imagined though, really, I didn't look too great. “We’ve had a great time tonight and since you are all so amazing…” I paused as the crowd cheered loudly. Sheesh, they have so much energy. “…I’m going to leave on a new song. You may have heard it, it’s been in a film lately. Anyone heard of Fifty Shades?”

Huge cheer. 'Course. People went mad about that film and my song. I gained more popularity because of it. I could see a group of people in the front section holding up a banner with the words ‘Crazy in love for Marco’. That’s when my stomach started to feel warm and my heart beating a little faster. I was practically about to say the same thing to the man standing at the edge of the VIP section. For the first time. He looked at the people with the banner and then looked down at his phone. He shook his head incredulously, making him have to fix his red beanie. He kept his eyes glued down. He tended to wear his hat in public now when he was out with me. I both knew and didn't want to believe that that was because he didn't feel right around me without our privacy. 

I needed him to look at me. Or else I couldn’t do this.

The piano started to play. It could repeat the refrain, it could wait for my cue. I needed him to look at me. I lifted the microphone from the stand and held it up to my mouth. My breath stuttered into the metal of the grill. I slowly walked to centre stage, talking at the same time and looking away from the crowd of lights and dark faces. “So, I actually want to dedicate this to someone,” I glanced over as to where Jean stood. His head was still down but I could see his eyes had perked up. I carried on, “They’re special to me. Not many people know about us because…” Because I was too afraid. “The thing is. They’re here tonight…” My hand shook a little and I swallowed another stuttering breath. I looked over my right shoulder at the three huge screens behind me. The camera changed so that I saw the side of my face looking up and I was surprised to see that actually, I didn’t look bad at all. I wasn’t pale or sweating. I could do this. * The piano repeated itself again. This time I’ll join in. “The thing is… he’s here.”

I don’t know what happened next exactly. I was listening out for my cue whilst staring at Jean who’d finally looked up at me. His eyes were wide and his hand covered his mouth. 

“Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh no no…” I held the microphone close to my lips and I kept his eyes locked with mine. 

I didn’t take in anything else but beautiful him. I didn’t know if the crowd were booing or cheering. There was no one else apart from him.  
As I sung, I closed my eyes. I started to stroll along the stage as I kept the microphone to my lips. “You got me looking, so crazy, my baby…” I zoned out. This was for him. I had to prove myself. I swayed slightly.

“So foolish, I don’t do this…” I opened my eyes slightly and gazed aimlessly in front of me. "Baby, your love's got the best of me..." I put out my hand in front of me expressively and I walked forwards along the runway. 

“Baby, you're love's got the best of me..." My smile broadened as I thought about how this song was the perfect choice for dedicating my soul mate. I chuckled slightly while I sung and I had to bite his lip to restrain myself. 

"You got me strung and I don’t care who sees…” I stood still near the centre of the black runway and put both hand round the microphone. I looked to my left, over my shoulder. I could see him past people’s heads. 

“You got me. You got me…” For a moment we locked eyes again I breathed in between the words. And I could see something I hadn’t seen in a while. A real smile. I saw people looking in his direction. No, that wasn’t the plan. He doesn’t deserve unwanted attention. 

"Deep in your eyes, I touch on you..." I kneeled down on the left side of the runway and touched stretched out hands and I sung louder. It was the last song and I did have to think about the fans. They wanted more. And with another glance at Jean through the moving crowd I thought maybe he did, too.

“Such a funny thing for me to try to explain…” I strode towards the end of the runway, glancing to the sides with heat in my eyes. The corner of my lips curled slightly. I could feel him looking at me. I prepared for the chorus, getting closer to the podium at the end of the runway. 

The beat of the drums and the music went straight through me and I felt electric as I jumped onto the podium. “Got me looking so crazy right now,” White lights burst out brightly as I sung with all my heart. “Your love’s got me looking so crazy right now…” I closed my eyes and I rocked my body back and forth to the beat.

I shook my head and I ran a hand through my damp hair and then kept my hand there. I took a breath on the small pause and turned back around, moving with the rhythm still. 

“Hoping you’ll save me right now…” I pointed in Jean’s direction and I tried my best to spot him but he was far away. I jumped off the podium and walked in time down the runway, lowering my body to touch the fans hands. The strings kicked in for the repeat and I felt it kick my bloodstream. Was it always this good?

My face showed open expression. "Your touch got me looking..." I put my hand over my heart and then gripped my shirt as I felt my quickening heartbeat. I straightened completely as I approached the main stage and put my fingertips to my bottom lip. "Your kiss got me hoping you'll save me right now..."

I took a deep breath as I reached centre stage. I held the microphone a few inches from my mouth as I belted the lines. The music dropped and reached the end, “Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love..."

 

My breath reverberated across the entire stadium. I couldn’t hear anything but my breathing. My right side faced the audience and I brought the microphone back to my lips. My voice was hoarse and low, “Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh no no…”

I caught eyes with him again as I trailed off. I kept the microphone close to my lips as the music finished and my voice was gravelly when I said, straight to him, “I love you.”

And I knew I’d done it. I’d taken the first step to finally giving Jean what he wanted. The crowd's reaction was phenomenal. Never had they been so ecstatic. They were so happy. I hoped they were happy for me, not just because I gave a show of a lifetime. I held his eyes and I never wanted to let go of them. Despite him being jostled around and the target of a few pairs of eyes, I saw him wink and smirk at me. He fixed his beanie before putting his phone in his pocket and lifting his two hands and made his fingers into a heart shape. I smiled and a breath of laughter came out of me that felt trapped in my chest. I held up my hands and made a heart shape, too. He'd better have taken pictures. That was historical. 

I desperately wanted to get him up here with me and pull his red beanie over his face as I kissed him through my stupid smiles. Instead I settled for this. This was enough. After all, it was the start of what I should’ve done such a long time ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading - Please leave a comment, need to know if I can actually write fanfiction


End file.
